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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

What do you get if you breed two different varieties of the sexiest rabbits you can find?

What, you don’t already know?

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Too soon?

During the fire in Paris, firefighters rescued a small case. In it was a cheese roll, crisps, a biscuit & a carton of orange juice.

It was the Lunchpack of Notre Dame

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A vegan said to me that selling meat is disgusting .
I said selling fruit and vegetables is grocer.

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Banned!

(Let me look this up on the form, not sure why you were banned, oh, yes, here it is:
FOR PUNS)

I’ll take it.

I had a dream the other day, that I was playing Yahtzee with the Grim Reaper… dicing with death!

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Heck, my dream involved dicing onions as well as Yahtzee. It was a meal to the death.
I cried.
(you know, because of onions).

(I also don’t know where I’m going with this, I’m currently heavily medicated, I’m so sorry)

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But… that’s what the analogy “dicing with death” already means. Not Yahtzee specifically, obviously (and maybe the stakes were lower in your dream), but still… I don’t think I can let you away with that : )

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Group of adventurers sat around a table in an inn. The innkeeper asked why they have so many weapons.

“Mimics!” they replied.

They laughed. The innkeeper laughed. The table laughed.

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The funny part is that the innkeeper, the adventurers, and the table are all mimics.

AND SO ARE ALL THE WEAPONS!

This chilling tale brought to you by Kobolds Anonymous.

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Are Glass Caskets the wave of the future?

Remains to be seen.

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Why are modern academics so skeptical of medieval Scottish history?

Picts or it didn’t happen.

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Have I banned you yet, @mutechair?

Sir, I have not had that honour. I mean, yes. Lots.

It’s been long overdue. BANNED!

I woad have laughed, but I tried until I was blue in the face and think I kilt the mood.

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OK, you are banned, too, @adrian. That was awful.

I should have just named this thread “Dad Jokes” and washed my hands of it.

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Holy heck, I just realized this thread’s been going on for 4 years, now, I started it in May 2015 (a couple of weeks before my birthday). If anyone has any old-dude roast-type jokes, June is the time to break them out.

Swiss archaeologists have discovered that William Tell and his son used to play in a bowling league but historians have been unable to determine the names of any of the teams.
So we will never get to know for whom the Tells bowled.

The person who invented autocorrect passed away today. May they roast in pus.

I rang up my local swimming baths. I said: ‘Is that the local swimming baths?’ He said: ‘It depends where you’re calling from.’.

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You are so fu**ing banned.

Wouldn’t have it any other way!

I’ve accidentally taken my cat’s meds. Don’t ask me-ow.

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