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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?


It was! (Glad someone got it) but I know very little about either; will check that thread though < /aside>


This is also an aside, not a joke: I have the actual Looney Labs game! It’s not bad. It comes in a small package, and I was able to get it for super-cheap because their license expired and they needed to move their inventory. < /aside>

Sorry, back to jokes!

I wanted to add liquid helium to my collection of liquid neon, argon and xenon, but it’d be superfluous.

They were all very noble about the rejection.

(You get a two-fer-one there)


This is a callback to the very beginning of the this thread:

A Zen monk goes up to the hotdog vendor and says “Make me one with everything!”


The hotdog becomes a space-time singularity.


In sad news, the inventor of the jug has died. Tributes have started pouring in.

EDIT: @MinuteWalt - just the first line of that joke just broke my colleagues. The punchline wasn’t needed!


I tried to keep a handle on my emotions and maintain a stiff upper lip but I cracked at this.


That’s supposed to be the whole joke, but people keep on adding to it. That was one of the first jokes here, and one of my favorite of all-time.

There was another follow-up (also mentioned above) “The hot-dog vendor was a Confucian, when the monk asked for his change, the vendor said ‘Change comes from within.’”

It’s an old one (a very old one), I had to add the additional punchline because I hadn’t seen it before and it made my son crack up. (We were both familiar with the original for ages, so it was like “oh this old joke, KABLAM!”)

I’m very happy we had an opportunity to break people, here. I hope that they recover.


There a two cats named “One Two Three” and “Un Deux Trois”. They had a swimming race. Who won?

One Two Three because the Un Deux Trois cat sank…


I was positive that was told here before, it’s so corny and perfect. But I couldn’t find it.

@Griffster77 gets a “Get Out of Banned Free” token. :trophy:


I did check!


:rofl: I know, how could it have not have been here? It belongs here.

Also, that’s, like, one of the best dad jokes, ever.

I’m going to tell that to my kid, and he’s totally going to want to punch me.


Wait! I told that joke! It was here!

EDIT: Uttt Oh! It’s not… my inception joke that I’ve been doing all over the forum (and no-one’s noticed)… its happened, I’ve shifted into a new dimension… one where the only difference is that I didn’t tell that joke


Wake up, @SleepyWill


I legitimately don’t even get that version of the joke…

Oh, wait - I get it now!

Er… I need to wake up.


Jeez, this is one of the reasons I keep complaining about the search function here.

Oh, well, that was my fault, I can’t take the token back. I just guess I have to give one to everyone!

Everyone gets a “Get Out of Banned Free” token. :trophy: !!!

The next time you’re banned, turn it in.

(EDIT: unless you are for-real banned.)


I apologize in advance:

How many avocados are in one mole of avocados?
Avocado’s number



UGH. Ugh ugh ugh.

What is the biggest obstacle new physicists and their research face in their career?
Old physicists.

Bit too on the nose… hmmm… funny, funny…

Has anyone pointed out the Astronaut/Cosmonaut joke yet? The one that says when NASA realized pens won’t work in space (no gravity to draw the ink down towards the ballpoint, meaning that they don’t work), they spent millions in R&D , testing and redesigning and retesting until they FINALLY designed a Space Pen (a pressurized ink cartridge forces the ink slowly onto the ball in a very similar way to gravity would).

The Russians? They just used pencils.


Sadly, apocryphal. But still a damn good story.


Oh, apocryphal as hell… in fact, I don’t think it’s apocryphal so much as it is fictional, but yes, a good story.


The fisher (citation needed) space pen was developed in the 60s, but that was a private company.


Also sharpening a pencil in space is a stupid idea