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What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?


What I found on Facebook this morning:

Two women walk into a bar and talk about the Bechdel test.

Heard about new band called 1023MB? They haven’t had any gigs yet.

C, Eb and G walk into a bar. Bartender says “Sorry, no minors.”


Not really a joke but…

I’m returning to the Zombies run app. Some missions are all story, some are world building and some are , well daft.

Athena in series 2 is the absolute best. Within the first minute your told that the run home will be “epic struggle” you run past a island playing mysterious music that draws in zombies, then a huge zombie missing an eye, a strange old man with a house full of food that is yours if you lay down your head… you get the deal.

And then right at the end it gets proper meta. One character says it reminds them of the film ‘Oh brother where art thou?’ before the other disagrees and dives into a very impressive rendition of Ulysses 3031.

Anyway, the 41 minute run flew by.


I use that too! Great, isn’t it?

I remember in the first couple of seasons having moments when I had to stop running because either I was laughing too much, or I was genuinely upset about something in the story. Starting season 3 for the third time tomorrow (long story).

“” “” “”

Two zombies are eating a clown, one turns to the other and says…

“Does this taste funny to you?”


@RossM @MrJackdaw Running is for suckers who don’t own bicycles! (I’m just jealous because I’m not allowed to run anymore).

My 7 year-old kid just hit me with that, only it was vampires. Also another one about how they smell funny.

It’s almost a sub-genre, “Mom asks dad, ‘Does this milk smell funny to you?’ ‘Hhahahahahah!!!’ he replies.”

Not to mention time-honored school-yard teasing, “Why you look so funny?” “I dunno, why you smell so funny?”, and potential bar-brawls (almost the same thing),
“You tryin’ to get funny with me?” “No! Not at all! You just smell so funny I couldn’t help but laughing.” One or both of these speakers inevitably looks a little funny the next day.

It’s very flexible! I suspect there may be a lot more iterations of how to construct that joke than I can think of, mostly just by 1) basic changing of the characters and 2) simple structure changes, but the vampire/zombie ones are the most classic to me, personally.

“Hey, Justin, you write funny!”
“Thanks, man!”
“No, I mean, you write funny smelling!


I feel like a grown up in a room full of kids or a kid in a room full of grownups - what are you all talking about I don’t get it!!! I understand the individual words but the sentences aren’t quite hanging together for me!!!


Is this not an expression where you are, @SleepyWill?

It’s like when food “is a bit off” and about to spoil. “It smells funny, chuck it in the bin.”

Or an odd person is “funny-looking” because their facial features are unusual. It can also apply to the way they dress, just “odd” or “unusual.”

Clowns are (allegedly) “funny,” so of course they must taste “funny.”

Are you having us on, William?


I get that bit - and I think I get that there is a app called zombie run that tells you stories as you run?

Honestly, I think I can attribute that post to double dose of Tramadol, a lot of travelling in a week and sharing a camper van with three other grown men in Italy.


Ok @SleepyWill let’s go highbrow.

One of the most famous spokesmen of the 19th century Chartist movement was William Lovett.

Often when walking down the street he was accosted by critics of his ideal who would shout. “Oi, you Will Lovett!”

Especially around the East End.


If it’s highbrow you want, it’s highbrow you get.

An equine perused into a local drinking establishment and the landlord inquired about his extended facade


Just, no.


I wasn’t going to post this, but now:

When I heard the French 6th chord I just had to buy some Sauvignon Blanc


Is it because the blanc was augmented?


Some stupid dad jokes I’ve seen recently (as I imagine many of you also have, but hey):

I keep getting hit by this bike in town. It’s a really vicious cycle.

Poop jokes aren’t my favourite, but they are a solid number 2.

Did you hear about the man that fell into the re-upholstery machine? He’s fully recovered.


This is PEGI-13 at the least, and is bad. I’m spoilering it, both because of the content and mostly due to the horrible pun (it only works when spoken aloud).

What does a sunken submarine and a used condom have in common?
They’re both filled with dead seamen.


That’s an OLD joke… still good.

Here’s another

Many years ago, my father took me to one side and gave me “the talk”. As he finished he said, “I want to show you something, why I wished I’d used a condom at your age.”
Odd thing is, they were all just pictures of me.


That is terrible. Just ask my oldest son after the last time we went through our photo albums. It’s like he blames me for his awful haircuts in the 90s. (It was only 20% my fault! The rest was on his mom and grandma).

“Dad! Couldn’t you have just wrapped that rascal? Then I wouldn’t have to suffer this.”

My son. He was born with existential angst.

But we have amazing hugs!!! :heart:


I tell both of my kids, individually, in private, that they are my favorite child. And then I tell them both the same thing “privately” when they can each hear me. So they both know I’m telling each of them that they’re my favorite child.

I’m hoping to provoke a battle to the death to inherit all my defunct game consoles, but what I’m pretty sure what’s actually going to happen is that they’ll pat me on the face and say “nice try, Dad.”


Extra EDIT: I copy-pasted the above EDIT in a text to my elder son. (We live in the same house, apparently texting to someone in the next room…actually, you know what, that really is much easier than just hollering to them.)

He came to me again and condescendingly patted my face and said, “nice try, Dad.”

I now am wondering if it was a good idea to teach him at an early age about irony and sarcasm, but he definitely has learned “snark” all on his own.

I swelled with pride.


What do you call a chicken that is looking at some lettuce?

Chicken Caesar Salad


What do you call a chicken that is convulsing while looking at some lettuce?

Chicken Seizure Salad


Requesting Admin access for just long enough to ban @MinuteWalt