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The Uxbridge English Dictionary

I was listening to I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue last night and thought this game would make an excellent thread. The premise of the game is simple: pick a word and offer an alternative, punning definition for it, based on the syllables within.

For example:

Canopy: Tin of urine.
Extractor fan: One who used to like farm machinery.
Gloating. A Jamaican torch
Juniper: Did you bite that woman?

Please add your own examples!


Brilliant: Definitely not a fish.


Roborally: A game about thieves guilds.

… this is hard.


Rusty: Tea steeped by a man named Russ.
Shampoo: Fake poop, joke product.
Wanted: A sickly and pale man named Ted.
Highway: A set of rules and guidelines followed by stoners.
Hockey: The act of pawning keys.
Bedding: The sound effect used when you get a question right on a game show.
Sycamore: The act of having one’s dog attack someone again.
Aladdin: The raucous noises made by a young boy.
Consort: Placing criminals into categories.


Catastrophe A stuffed and mounted feline posterior.

Maccabaeus Construct an apiary.

Apiary A monkey in a high wind.

Finish Similar to someone from Finland.

Diphthong Washing a skimpy undergarment.


Overcast: A fly fishing term for throwing the line out too far and reaching the far side of the river.
Overcoat: When you apply too much paint.
Discount: Which Count?
Werehouse: Question asked by drunk people when they are trying to get home.
Brotherhood: An article of clothing offered to you by a sibling during inclement weather.
Bicycle: An agricultural tool that swings both ways.

(I’m rather proud of that last one)


Not my first language, I’ll try anyway. How about:

During! - when you are waiting for a phone call (with a French accent possibly)
Disconnected! - when you answer that phone call at last

Camera - the Orwellian times we live in, surveillance everywhere

Germany - a handsanitizer invented by Yoda?

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Curtail: the rearmost appendage of a mongrel dog.

And a classic

Buccaneer: the price of corn.

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A few more for you.

Wistaria. - A location set aside for trick taking card games.

Observatory - To watch a member of the Conservative and Unionist Party.

Justice - Only frozen water.

Dreadlocks - A morbid fear of canal travel.

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Cinnamon bun - Guy Fawkes night.

Hiccup: an object a redneck uses to drink liquids.

Intent: one potential place a person may be when camping.


Tichu A very small sneeze
Goa Like Go, only more so
Antiquity Shares for insects

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Is this a homophone for ‘see the man burn’? I’m not sure whether it’s brilliant or just way too tenuous.

It is, in a London Jamaican accent. Let’s go with brilliant?

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