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The cockney rhyming slang thread (game?)


As per the short-lived exchange in the Introduction thread

'ave a butchers and use your loaf. I ain’t taking the mickey, this is just the best I could come up with on the gary at work.

Edit: OK, to make a game of it, two goals: “most incomprehensible post”, and/or “most evocative post”, depending on which side of the pond you are on. I’m about 16 years and a few thousand miles removed from the environment, so I’ll be struggling to compete. Honestly though, I still sometimes use slang without knowing it is slang, even after all this time.

Introduction Thread!

I can’t Adam and Eve it! Some geezer’s making a cockney ryhming slang game!


No rhyming slang here in my own post (sorry for not giving you any, I’m lost), I just had to say this:

I can’t believe you actually did it.

(Oh, no, wait…I would find it harder to believe if you hadn’t! Well played.)

{EDIT: edited and cross linked to this thread from the introduction thread where @Benkyo took us from}


I’m waiting for someone to come up with cockney rhyming slang for cockney rhyming slang . . . or should I say accent and twang.

Hopefully someone can do better than that.


Among my many annoying foibles (according to the wife) is to half Cockney rhyming slang.

“Would you Adam and believe it?”
“Up the apple and stairs.”

Etc, etc.


(I don’t think I understand any of these! Kudos!)


So. The uvver day I caught trouble tellin porkies. She said she was gettin er Barnet done, but I clocked er at the airs n graces! I know, see, cos I was there too, right? Anyway. I wasn’t avin none of it, so I says to er, oi! What you pissin away all me hard earned dough on? An she says, right, get this, “I could ask you the same question”! So, yeah, looks like the rent ain’t gettin paid this week. Your round innit? Mine’s a Stella.


I am sure she means your endearing quirks.

One of mine is in homage to people who say things like LPG Gas, I say Liquid Petroleum LPG Gas.


Slight derail but working at a secondary school does allow me to hear some ridiculous conversations. One of these involved someone saying “brb” to her friend. I decided to tell her that it’s the same amount of syllables to say “be right back”!! She looked at me with that “you’re soooo old” frown!


To be fair, it takes less effort for the face to say brb than be right back. :yum:


Hahah el-oh-el!


I was taking a twist out so I legged it down the apples after putting my finest fiddle on. My ol’pot was absolutely creamed after work, slumped with his plates up in front of the custard so I lifted a pony from his coat and span him some porkies about seeing a man about a dog.

Later a tealeaf half-inched my bread. We had a bit of barney and I ended up kicking him right in the Orchestra. What a giraffe.

So I took my twist down the rub-a-dub - she had a vera and I had a ship with a gay to follow. There was some geezer with banging a joanna - luvverly.


I am so proud that I may have understood about one quarter of that. (It could also be zero of that, I’m not absolutely sure).


I tried adding a translation in spoiler tags but it wouldn’t blur for some reason


The spoiler tag probably couldn’t understand it either! :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:

(EDIT: The tags are tricky, here, you have to make sure you don’t double-space, because sometimes the forums add an extra space for no reason (I know the reason but it’s not important right now), and sometimes you have to be careful of carriage-returns (Enter key), to make things like spoilers, italics, bold, and strikethrough work.)