I have also never seen an episode, so it’s not that.
Poorly described plots (seven words or fewer)
I feel like I’ve seen this, but for the life of me I can’t remember what it is.
Surely we’ve earned another clue now?
Ok then: The main character sucks (not in that way) (but still very much in a sexual way).
Just to recap:
Perfect Strangers
It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia
This (@Gwathdring: )
I would have said Taxi, but Latka’s from “Caspiar,” and while I swear I saw him hula-hooping, he doesn’t do much sexual sucking.
Was that singing-telegram girl hula-hooping?
(Also, just so you know, if I give a clue later there’s at least a 30% chance that the answer is Clue. The people who’ve been here longer already know it’s either that, or The Goonies, or something really weird.)
About 3 decades too old, I’m afraid. Also, I’m referring to two different characters in the show. The main character is neither Latvian, nor a hula-hooper (that I can remember).
You win three different responses to your guess, and you’re only right in one of them!
A 33% chance of being correct? That is far better than my usual odds, just ask my wife!
Let me throw another clue out there also:
surgeon obtains a new item of clothing
Correct! For your prize you win this strange glowing green rock we found. Probably worthless.

Gwathdring:
Correct! For your prize you win this strange glowing green rock we found. Probably worthless.
This is the first time I’ve remained just as clueless after the solution has been given as I was beforehand : )
Is that Ming the Merciless?? I can’t remember anything that happens in Flash Gordon…

I’m trying to think of Vampire TV shows with cell phones. The Vampire Diaries?
I can think of True Blood and From Dusk to Dawn – they’re both recent enough, I think?