Told you it was easy.
Your prize (you’re not going to like it) is Johnny Depp hanging around at your place, in total method-acting mode as Jack Sparrow, sleeping on the couch until he can find a new apartment. Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months. He never throws out his pizza boxes, expects the household to do his laundry, and occasionally slips out of Sparrow-mode and speaks in his “normal” awful-British accent.
On the plus side, he’s as rich as Croesus and pays rent, cable, internet, all the utilities, and occasionally a Spanish silver dollar or even a gold doubloon.