I was so close to a straight flush of privileges, sooooo close. I’m male, white, cis-gendered, middle class, fit, with no physical or mental disabilities, not to mention, I own a dog (which is always a privilege, dogs are so blessed.)
But then gayness happened. I was thirteen when I realised, playing Grand Theft Auto, as many thirteen-year-olds do, with my older brother. He had some generic comment about the ‘hotness’ of one of the female characters, and for the first time I was hyper aware that I did not feel the same way. Not about her, or any other girl… ever.
A few years of rejection and denial passed, I went through my Call of Duty phase, and various other bad games, and eventually I accepted being gay, and I bought Skyrim. I married Vorstag btw, I like to think he helped me figure myself out.
I did have one particularly memorable bad interaction. I was in a Dungeons and Dragons campaign with a few friends I knew well, and a couple more I didn’t so much. The DM was a bit of a dick, but I found his extreme nerdiness very amusing, so I let it slide.
Anyway, so we came across some bandit leader, and my character spear-headed negotiations (as the silver-tongued rogue), but he wouldn’t allow me to roll to seduce the bandit leader. Which was fine on its own, you know, DM’s have rules- I was ready to just laugh it off and leave it there.
Then he had to elaborate that he would not allow me to seduce that bandit leader because we were both men. And tried to tell me that DND lore does not allow for homosexuality. It was incredibly uncomfortable, suddenly I didn’t feel like playing very much.
This site is the first one that’s ever looked inviting to me. Over the years, I’ve been on many online chat forums about gaming, comics, and other such nerdy things that appeared to me (at least when I was a teenager) to be dominated by straight men. I never came out to them, or any of my gaming friends IRL. It never felt safe to do so. I’m ‘out’ to my family and a lot of my friends, but when I’m in any kind of nerdy/gaming circle, I just don’t say anything. So I’m glad this places exists.