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I have created new life! ... Oh shit, I'm a parent now


There’s nothing like seeing your child running around with large sharp objects that you thought were well out of reach.


I am a chef, and I was a Boy Scout. I’ve been trying to teach my 8-year-old how to use sharps (knives, forks, augers, etc) safely, and at the same time, making sure he washes his hands EVERY TIME he uses the bathroom. It’s something you get used to, both cooking and being a scout. Keep your hands clean.

I’m still having an issue when he takes a shower to clean his penis.

He’s uncut, his mom and I both thought circumcision is genital mutilation (which it is, if you want to hash it out let’s do it over here)
however, (please, forgive me for this analogy, I’m so sorry) he won’t peel the banana to wash his grape.

How do you get a little dude to do this? I’ve never had an issue when I was a kid, neither did my brother or any of my friends. (Any women reading this: boys pee in the woods together, you learn who is circumcised almost by accident).


You know my take on this? You don’t need to pull back the foreskin in the shower, it mostly takes care of itself. EDIT: Actually, I suppose after about 6(?) and until you are sexually active, some rinsing might be required. I’m no expert.

I’ve read quite a bit about infections and irritations and problems caused by over-zealous parental scrubbing of baby willies, and the advice seems to be pretty universal - don’t do it, or if you do be very very delicate about it.

Speaking as a Brit, circumcision seems pretty crazy. I’ll leave it at that.


I haven’t insisted, I’ve just suggested. “You may want to clean that thing?”

I’m sure he understands what he needs to do. I just get a bit “parent-noid” sometimes.

And as his mom has said, which I’m sharing because it was hilarious when he was 1, "Don’t call it “his junk”, I don’t make “junk!”"

It’s true. She baked a dammed fine baby. No junk.


I distinctly remember the first time my foreskin got pulled all the way back. It happened in the bath, I don’t know how, and I found it excruciatingly uncomfortable and ran naked and wet all the downstairs to get my parents to “fix” it, probably bawling my eyes out. Of course, they assumed I had been playing with my penis, and I hadn’t, and this vexed me greatly.

So, uh, I don’t know at what age it becomes easy, but I do know that there’s no need to pull it back before it does. I guess by 8 this is no longer a problem, but I get that it could still be very uncomfortable to wash if, for example, the shower stream is too strong.

Perhaps discomfort is the problem? Some tips on washing it without discomfort might help?


If he’s not irritated, physically, I won’t press the issue. My man’s pretty sharp for an 8-year-old.

EDIT: I shouldn’t have added that qualifier, it’s belittling: he’s just a sharp dude, 8 or any age.

He’s also grown a hugely epic mustache and beard! My boy.


I am solo parenting for two and a half weeks, and single parents you are superheroes. I’m already annoyed that I’ll have to make dinner AND take the bins out, as the dog isn’t doing his bit to chip in.


I’ve got both babies to myself all day today. Should be fun.

The tradeoff is that I get to boardgame all day tomorrow!


All day seems pretty sweet. I got to go hang out with a couple at a concert on one of their few baby free nights (thanks to their grandma). I’ve never seen anyone so tired party so hard.

In other news, got the cot set up in the bedroom today. And more clothing shopping needs to happen. I’m discovering I’m having a really hard time working out what clothing is an appropriate size without having seen the baby.


A cot sounds pretty sweet! I can’t remember the last time l/we had a bed to myself/ourselves. I do think there are benefits to co-sleeping though, otherwise we wouldn’t be doing it, Japanese culture or no.

A cot does sound pretty sweet though…


It’s kinda funny. My partner is super keen on co-sleeping, but I suspect it’s going to be very different to whatever you’re doing (or should I say, going through).

And because I’m a good person, I’ll just rub it in a bit; if you had a cot, would you have anywhere to put it?


On daddy-day sleepovers, my little one would usually sleep in my bed while I worked on my computer, and when I was done I crashed next to him. It was a little awkward (me working while he was sleeping in the same room, not awkward me sleeping next to him. I was the only person who could get him to sleep when he was an infant, carrying him around or rocking in a chair on my left shoulder. Never the right! Only the left. I think I walked over 100 miles in the first 2 years carrying him. I can’t estimate how many hours in the chair, I was usually half-asleep, too).

We have a great couch now, it’s awesome to sleep on (but not to sit on) and he sleeps there now when his mom has to work or is out of town, and he can’t stay at her house.

It’s not as functionally flexible as a cot, but it’s working pretty well.

The only other real downsides are that I don’t have a room for him of his own (he doesn’t really care, this whole house is practically like his room, so I’ll respect that and roll with him), and that our dog, Gravy, seems a little sad when he doesn’t have his couch back to himself (they both are willing to share, though, and it’s adorable when I have to get up in the middle of the night, and I see my son sprawled out in all directions, arms and legs akimbo, with the dog sleeping soundly at his feet).


I used a thing like a suspended hammock for our two bubs. Because they were both refluxy they couldn’t lay flat for any length of time, and it had the added advantage of being very cosy, could pack down to take with us anywhere, and if one of them stirred I could stick a foot out of bed and gently rock the hammock once and then it kept going. It was called a Nature’s Nest by a company called Amby and it was the best purchase of my life.


Sooo tired, sleep sounds pretty sweet right now, Robin woke me at 2, crashed at 5, when Batman started saying “owie” @Comaestro took him to the ER, they are going to x-ray to rule out appendix.
Meanwhile I am wrangling Robin cuz he woke the second we tried to put him too bed.
kiddo okay, not really sure what was hurting him


Apropos of nothing in particular, although I’m still distressed by my daughters’ obsession over pink, dresses, princesses, and appearance, I also want to share a success story.

From a very early age, whenever she had a problem, or encountered something she couldn’t do, or something she was scared of, my first response would usually be to say “what are you going to do?”

Responses would range from “punch the monster” to “papa help me”, but I love how this early emphasis on problem solving is working out.

Oh, also, these days, after a tantrum is over and she’s calmed down and has fully switched over into a good mood, asking her how she’s going to handle the same situation next time. Surprisingly good results!

Edit: (well, the tantrum may well reoccur, but it’s been eye-opening for me that after the fact she recognises that that isn’t what she should have done, and agrees in the moment to try and do things differently next time.)


@superjaz @COMaestro Batman is fine, yes? YES? Tell me it’s yes.

@Benkyo “what are you going to do?” is a fantastic way to respond. It really puts agency into their hands, and gets away from the whole “adults rule my world” thing that plagued me when I was a kid, while still being able to maintain the necessary authority of the grown-up role.


Fine has so many interpretations. But yes, he’s okay. Both kids have a bacterial infection of some kind so they are on antibiotics to treat it. Sunday night was no fun as Robin woke up around midnight crying, coughing, and feverish. I was up with him pretty much all night as he’d crash for a half hour or so then cough and whine for a bit before crashing again. Rinse and repeat all night. He woke up at 3 AM last night, and Jaz got up with him. The kiddos will be okay in the long run.


It was kinda a perfect storm. Last week or kiddos felt with exposure of gluten ( recall of their gluten free cereal, not pretty) which wreched their gut health. We were just thinking in the clear when this plague hit.
Tell ya want to make an ASD kiddo laugh? Tell them their kid will eat(drink) when they are hungry. Even without plague its hard.


@COMaestro and @superjaz It feels wrong for me to “like” your posts, since Batman and Robin are ill (I don’t “like” that your kids are ill). I had to click on the little heart just to show some moral support, I hope they’re feeling better soon. :heart:


Being ill as a father of three is fucking miserable. Thank goodness I’m on the mend, but wow. I do miss the days when I could rest when I got sick

Also, sex? I miss the days when we could just spend time together without distractions. How many of you have had sex in the same room as your kids/babies? Since the twins arrived, I think we are managing about once a month, if that.