Home Videos Games Podcastle

Chapter 1: Two Tieflings and a Goliath walk into a boat... [PBF] D&D 5E


“Ah yes.” Says Whiro as he looks around at the forest “I forgot about them… Do you think it’ll help that it was a mostly-magic fire?” He asks as he extinguishes the fire and pokes the few remaining twigs with his foot.

“Yes, let’s take these in. See if we can convince them to stay the night. Do you think we should mention the… uhh…” he gestures toward the forest.


Iris takes a seat on the bed.
“That sounds awful, Tamil. It’s my fault. I thought that I had examined the orb close enough, to think it safe, but I was wrong. I am sorry.”
She bows her head in supplication.
“My vision was… Awful too. I can’t bear to describe it right now. It was about my sister. With the dream gone I know that it isn’t true, but the idea that it could come true is as terrifying as anything we’ve faced.”


“I think they will leave us alone, as long as we respect the forest.” Go’in replies to Whiro. After handing out the drinks to the others with Whiro, Go’in unrolls his bedroll on the floor.

“I dont think the mist will bother us inside here, so we might as well get some rest. Should set up a watch all the same. Who wants to take the first watch?”


“I can take first watch.” Ulthal volunteers.


Whiro will explain what happened outside as he’s handing out the drinks, and offers to take the second watch.


Iris is exausted and falls asleep very quickly, after gratefully sipping the drink and thanking those who are taking watch.


Go’in will take the watch after Whiro. During his watch, he grabs his newly aquired book and looks through the pages, not only for its cultural and literary value, but to see if there are any notes, secrets and our musings written or coded into its pages (Go’in knows druidic and goblin, as well as common and dwarvish).

Investigation d20: 16+1


(Is this the book Whiro was looking at before the attack?)


(Nope. The one Go’in found under the mattress with the crystal. You know the one.)


Whiro will spend the time before his watch studying the book he discovered on the desk.
d20: 18 + 3

(Thanks for reminding me Go’in. I’m sure this one contains more cultural references than yours.)


The book Whiro has found appears to be a diary. It looks like there are only ten brief entries:


I, Irvilfin Smithson, make this record of my thoughts for future generations! That sounds a bit too haughty. Who am I kidding? I just need to have a place to decompress from all the craziness.

I was chosen to be a Guardian of one of Titania’s elemental crystals! Handpicked by the Goddess herself! Not sure what she sees in me, I barely fought in the battles against the demons. Honestly… I think every third fireball hit one of our guys in the back!

Great, I’ve incriminated myself! Now I’m going to have to destroy this book.


I’ve met with the other Guardians and now I really feel out of place. Both Anneth Greenleaf and Karpov Maleth are Guardians! They’re freaking war heroes! They took down as many demons as entire battalions! And the last one is Merziver Mekaville. He’s odd, but brilliant! The things that Gnome invented out of scrap weapons on the war front is insane!

How do you tell a Goddess that she’s made a mistake?


Titania has given us charge of the Crystals. When I was given the Crystal of Air I tried to tell Titania that there had been a mix up, but she cut me off before I got the first word out. She said she believed in all her Guardians.

Anneth and Karpov are already drawing up plans to erect places of worship around them. We decided that each elemental temple will have a song. Like a hymn of worship. Merziver seemed especially gleeful at this idea. I can only guess at what his twisted mind is coming up with. I feel like a fraud, but I’m in too deep now.

I’m no minstrel either.

I’ve set up a small cabin in the Western Woods. The construction on the other temples is ongoing and incredible. I’ve heard news that Karpov is erecting an arena!

For some reason that doesn’t feel right to me for this Crystal.

Air is not… stationary.

I mostly keep the Crystal on me. I don’t know if that’s… sacrilegious? But it feels right. Some worshippers seek me out and I walk with them in the trees. It feels honouring to Titania to be out in nature, conversing with the dryads, and worshipping amongst the trees.

There are less worshipers these days. Perhaps it’s the lack of an official landmark that deters them from returning. Some certainly seem disappointed by a wizard in a cottage instead of a Priest that can fly through the air and lives in a magnificent tower!

How quickly people are forgetting that the elements were used to save us, they’re not tourist attractions to amuse us!

I haven’t written in decades. Thought I’d lost this book! Glad to have found it again! Karpov has asked me to research something rather dark… He makes a good point however, none of us have Elven longevity. Who will guard the elements when we pass. Who will take up my place?

I can not commit to the path Karpov has chosen. Perhaps I’m weaker for it. Surely I am to blame for helping him find that path, but I will not follow him.

I will find another solution.

They came in the night! Common thieves! They came expecting to find a frail old fool guarding a treasure, but they folly was theirs. It’s many years since I was some green mage getting tongue tied over my cantrips! The fear I saw in their eyes should deter them from trying again, but the problem still remains of a more permanent solution when I am gone.

The spell is complete! It’s amazing!

Not to say that what I have made is good, but I think it will endure. And I believe it will do its job. I have put a piece of myself into it. What will happen to me in there? Time will tell.

It doesn’t affect the dryads, but the animals don’t much care for the smell. Strange because it smells of nothing to me. I posted the signs. Hopefully the curious ones will heed them and the mist won’t be necessary.

I’m going to blot out my research. I don’t think this knowledge is something that should be accessible. The orb itself shouldn’t even be handled without gloves!

May Titania forgive me for this. I did my best as a Guardian.

At the end of the book are few pages of sheet music.


On Go’in’s watch he thumbs open “The passion of the Barmaiden: Vol II”. The opening reads:

“Shalia Buxommous looked down at the coastal city of Waterdeep! She was no longer the naive barmaid learning the ropes of serving drinks and navigating the advances of drunkards! Her adventures thwarting the Black Hand and defeating the arch-wizard Fabiorny had changed all that! (See The passion of the Barmaiden: Vol I - Author’s note)

Of course, the enchantment Fabiorny had placed on her in the heat of battle still weighed on her mind. Anyone who touched Shalia’s skin was overcome with passion for her! The curse had caused her to flee her old job and town. Afraid of the accidental courtships she had caused and the fervent desires of those she had touched, she had come to a city where no one knew her.

Well, almost no one.

An old flame and childhood friend was rumoured to have made it big in Waterdeep as a merchant. She hadn’t seen Xavith Stiffbod since he left to seek adventure and fortune as a teenager, but something deep inside her knew that he would know how to help her! Shalia felt a warmth rise in her as she thought of her old friend, but did her best to stifle it.

If there was a cure for this enchantment the cure must lie within the city and she would need her wits about her to find it. Shalia took a moment to adjust her pack and made for the city gates…”


(I am tempted to keep writing, “Go’in continues to read…”, just so that you have to write out the entire book) :slightly_smiling_face:


Go’in shuts the book and returns it to his pack. It seems, at least in this case, you can judge a book by its cover. Perhaps he can sell it in the next town as an ancient and rare piece of literature. He continues his watch for the rest of the night.


d20: 4


(Pfft. Like I haven’t already finished the Third Volume of The passion of the Barmaiden. That trilogy is my magnum opus!)


The night passes quietly and the sun rises on a new day. The breeze has a slight chill to it this morning and autumn is back on track and now waning.


Whiro will share the book with the rest of the group, when Iris is awake. “Interesting perspective. And look, Iris, he’s kept the song of the wind temple at the back. Do you think you can read… ahh… I’ll get to work transcribing it into someting for you. But he mentions each temple has it’s own song. Might be worth going back to look for them when this is all over.”


Iris puts her hand out. “I’m not completely blind. Can I look at it? I just gotta get really close. Wasn’t there a stomping melody that the lizardpeople did at the earth temple? Maybe that was one of the hymns. I don’t remember it, unfortunately.”


“Ah, I’m sorry.” Whiro will pass over the appropriate pages. “I remember a lot of foot stomping at the arena, but nothing musical at the air temple. Well, unless you count Urthal shouting at gnomeface.”