Your absentee landlord has arrived, bringing a big box of delicious posturing and admonition, seasoned with a surprising amount of bonhomie.
Just a general group raven, laying out some musings I’ve had. Feel free to offer any suggestions or open threats as you see fit.
Most of you are West of me. Many valuable territories are in the West. This is fine, because I will be happy to settle for a small section of the East, avoiding conflict wherever possible. I literally don’t actually have the free time for the logistics of a war in the West, so am happy to operate relatively passively and absolutely honestly.
King’s Landing is clearly mine, and I want Storm’s End, the Mountains of the Moon, and all of the coastal territory between them. Once I have my Eastern territories, I will happily sit in my corner, responding as needed.
To the fursome House Stark, I offer the suggestion that war between us won’t help either of us much. It really doesn’t look like the Kraken is going to be fun to deal with, especially with Lannister collusion. Mind you, if you don’t want the Narrow Sea, I will happily claim it. If you want your coastline raided from the East, feel free to agitate and posture. I can’t see anything to be gained from it.
To the darling rosebuds of Tyrell, I offer my fondest regards, as well as my commiserations on your impending invasion from the North and eventual betrayal in the South. Now, we both know that I want the Blackwater, but I am happy to let you and the Lion work out an amicable solution between yourselves. I really hope that we can be friends.
To Martell, our mates downunder, I understand that you may want to interfere with my holdings, as your hollow alliance with the Tyrells inevitably forces you North. Storm’s End is kind of my property, though, and I really don’t want a harrowing war with a house I respect. I hope this goes well.
To the maritime terror of Greyjoy, you guys are pretty awesome, and I can’t wait to see the betraying sword of ‘Damocles’ Greyjoy descend on the Lannister coastline. I don’t really need to advise you to stay out of the East. It clearly has nothing for you. Hopefully we don’t see each other any time soon, as a long-distance friendship will be safer for both of us.
To the proud House Lannister, we might have to see how things pan out. We should be fine as long as you don’t push too far East. Mind you, you probably wouldn’t want to do that anyway.
Not wanting to threaten anyone, just letting you all know that I’ve had a think, and found a peaceful solution to some of our mutual problems.
- Barry Baratheon, Rightful King of Westeros, etc.
Also, anyone messing with King’s Landing is playing what I believe the maesters call a ‘Zero Sum Game of Thrones’.
Possibly not worth doing, but it’s your funeral.
Seriously. You’re opening a box of manticores.